Inside Casey's Grapefruit

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Inside Casey's Grapefruit




People keep talking recently about blogs and blogging, my best friend Amanda says that it's like a diary but a new age one, I like the sound of that. I don't tend to write my feelings down unless of course I am writing them into a song, afterall that to me is the only form of creative writing but having said that maybe this will be a good thing, I have so much going on in my grapefruit right now that perhaps this will be good....theraputic even...hhhmmmm we shall see.

So where to start?

It is the summer holidays right now, not much is going on but it's nice to be away from school, I'm not looking forward to going back though, it'll be the last year and the heat is on to get good grades, if I don't get into MetroVille College I will cry, they have the best music production course within a 200mile radius and it's just outside of my home Grandville, it's also the place my best friends Amanda, Keeley and Matt are wanting to go. My second choice is Bournville college but if I'm completely honest I would rather eat my own eyeballs than go there.

This weekend is our annaul school camping trip I can't wait, especially because this one doesn't involve parents coming along. Don't get me wrong my parents are great but I'm at that age now where I would rather spend the weekend with my friends without parental supervision. Miss Harris, Mrs Dunstel and Mr Smikins will be there but from what I've heard when these three get together out of school they could do with some supervision themselves. It's going to be awesome.

I know the real reason that Mandy suggested I write this, she thinks I keep things inside and maybe she is right. Like the fact that I am failing Maths and I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone or ask for help, even though it could cost me my High School Diploma or perhaps I should talk about how it makes me feel when Rachel Sinclair lays into me with her gang of followers or maybe just maybe I should write about the fact that I'm totally and utterly in love with Keeley's twin brother Matt and daren't tell anyone about it (even though I think Mandy and Keeley know) for fear of losing him. Maybe these are the kind of things she is referring too,

I've always been quite an open person but just lately as I'm getting older I find it more difficult to open up, I don't know why. I don't feel it is a bad thing but my friends think that I should let it out once in a while, to me I let it out in my music, you see music is my number one passion in the world. I love how different songs can make you feel different emotions, they can take you to a place that talking doesn't even reach, when I write songs this is my expression, this is how I tell the world how I feel and this to me is the only way I know that works, that makes me feel alive. Only lately I've been having a little musical writers block, unless you count my number one hits (sarcasism) "Matthew" "I'm crazy about my best friend" or "Get your hands off my man you skanky cheerleading slut" I feel I have hit a road block.

It's funny how you can go from being friends with someone to nemesis. Rachel Sinclair grew up with myself Mandy, Keeley and Matt but as soon as we joined high school, things changed. She has made my life a living hell since. I like to think I give as good as I get but sometimes, just sometimes I wish she would just back off, either that or I knock her out but I'm not big on violence. I can handle the jibes about how I look (to a degree) and the put downs about my music (she's just jealous) what I can't handle is the way she is with Matt, everytime I see them together my heart dies a little. You see Matt is captain of the football team and Rachel head cheerleader, they have to spend time together and although he says he dislikes her my insecurities get the better of me. God am I really talking about this??? I mean we are just friends, he doesn't care about me like I do him so maybe I should just let him get on with it if he wants to date her. She is annoyingly beautiful with her long blonde hair and blue eyes, she like a barbie doll and I'm like....Cindy oh my god that makes Matt Ken, wait what the hell am I talking about now???

Anyway I think I need help, I can't stop thinking about him, he invades my every thought and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't eat, can't sleep, can't write and to make matters worse my clumseyness increases when he is around. I'm so scared that this could break our friendship up but I'm not sure how much longer I can go without saying something. I'venever felt this way before, why does love have to be so complicated.

These two new guys have started at school also, they are brothers Brendan and Scott Evans and I know that Brendan has a thing for Keeley and Scott for Amanda, they are coming along on the camping trip. It'll be really cool if my best buddies get together with these guys, they seem really cool, I guess we shall see what happens.

Anyways I think that is enough sharing for one day, I'm gonna go try write a new song that doesn't involve Matt Deluka hhmmmm maybe I should write a song about blogging......
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caseybauer
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Inside Casey's Grapefruit :: Comments

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Post on Thu May 17, 2012 1:03 am  caseybauer

I seriously need help, I am getting obsessed with one Matthew Deluka and I need to get a grip, the other day I borrowed his sweater as I was cold and he let me take it home where I proceeded to sleep in it and smell it all night, god I need help I can't stop thinking about him, day in and day out gggrrrrr he's just so damn sexy I want to just jump him or have him slam me against the wall and do things to me that my parents could never ever know about.

Rchel still keeps sniffing around him like the bitch she is Evil or Very Mad

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Post on Thu May 17, 2012 1:05 am  Guest

shes in heat!! my bro has better taste than that case besides his knob might drop off if he slept with dogface hahahahahahahaaha affraid

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Post on Thu May 17, 2012 1:08 am  caseybauer

His knob better not go anywhere near that dogface or I'll cut it off Evil or Very Mad

What can I do Keeley it's driving me mad, I want to be with him so bad but what if he says no or I ruin the friendship, just wish he'd make the first move

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Post on Thu May 17, 2012 1:11 am  Guest

my bro is a dumbass!! I'm positive he feels the same in fact I'd eat my army boots if he doesnt Shocked hes just in the same situation as you he doenst know how you feel and thinks he will ruin the friendship. i may just have to bang both your heads together until you see sense Suspect

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Post on Thu May 17, 2012 1:15 am  caseybauer

Do it Very Happy your brother is so special you know, he's just the best guy I know Embarassed I love him so very much

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Post on Thu May 17, 2012 1:22 am  Guest

yeah special just about sums it up lol

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Post on Sun Nov 24, 2013 10:47 pm  caseybauer

Why do weekends go so fast and where the hell are Amanda and Keeley? Since those Evans boys came to town I hardly ever see my best buddies, not that I mind I mean it's great they are so loved it with their boys (both of whom are really great) so good on them. I need to go hunt down Deluka but he's being quiet this weekend, hhmmm what to do today. I was going to head to Cookies for a shake but it's my day off and it'd be really sad of me to go to my place of work, alone on my day off haha Gonna go to my quiet spot and work on my music, yeah that sounds like a cool way to spend my day

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Post on Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:26 am  MattDeluka

Hey baby, give us whatyou got.

MATT

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Post on Mon Nov 25, 2013 2:30 am  caseybauer

What you referring to Wink what do you want me to give you? Surprised 

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Post on Mon Nov 25, 2013 3:17 am  MattDeluka

read matt im still workingon it#

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